fi·an·cé.

man to whom one is betrothed.

It was a Sunday.
The first time I dared to wear my comfies
To dinner at The Farley home
We had steak and potatoes
One of our favorite meals
After dinner I suggested we play a game
...I remember Duane telling Spencer that
We would not be playing a game
I was confused--but thought maybe Spencer had homework
Josh and I went downstairs to look for board games anyhow.
There is a section of their home that is under construction
They are adding a racquetball court to their basement
Josh suggested we look in the
Unfinished, gigantic room--for board games.
Um.
I told him that there was no way
The board games were in that part of the house.
Somehow (even as I write this, I can't imagine or recall how...)
He convinced me that we should go into the racquettball room.
So we moved all of the items that were blocking off the cement room.
There was no heat in this room.
And no lights. No windows.
Naturally, we took a lantern with us.
Once inside, I perched myself atop Josh's feet
Because the floor felt like ice under mine.
And there we were--standing together.
Hugging.
Freezing.
In the dark.
Josh started complimenting me.
Saying all sorts of things that make me blush.
He always does this to me.
And I get uncomfortable.
Always.
And this time was no different.
So to tried to lighten the situation...
I squeezed his bum.
Yep.
I gave it a really good squeeze.
And Josh slipped away from me.
We hadn't turned on the lantern yet...
And I didn't know where Josh had gone.
But soon I saw that Josh was down on one knee.
With my ring.
And my ring was in a box that lit up.
He asked me to marry him...
And he turned on the lantern
That is when I saw the question spray painted on the cement wall
Perfectly spray painted. With hearts.
That is when I realized what was happening
I closed the box and told him I couldn't look at it
I hugged him so tight.
I know I said, "SHUT UP!!!" Way too many times.
Eventually I just sat down.
I simply could not function.
I had designed the ring.
I had already purchased my dress.
I was in love.
The date was set.
But I felt completely and utterly blindsided.
There is no other way to describe it.
I suddenly had to sprint to the restroom.
That happens when someone asks you to be their wife.
Your body freaks out.
I came back and Josh reminded me that I hadn't
Answered the question
The WILL YOU MARRY ME? question.
The. Question.
But of course I would.
I was so excited that I fooled him into thinking
I was good enough for him to spend forever with.


In a room off of the racquettball court, a warmer room,
Josh had set up candles and had my favorite cheesecake
on a plate we made together the week before.
That is when I got the first real look at my ring.
A ring so beautiful I couldn't believe it was really mine.
That I designed it.
That it turned out so well.
That I actually loved the ring soo much--
I was excited to wear it everyday for the rest of my life
I've never owned a piece of jewelry I was so loyal to.

So there I was.
In my pajamas.
With the most breathtaking piece of jewelry that I will ever own, sparkling on my left hand.
And guess what?
It felt exactly like me.



People don't tell you how shocking it is to have someone propose to you.
Even when you know, full well, that it is coming.
It will rock your world.
And your boyfriend will be so nervous.
So nervous.
In those nail-biting moments right before he turns into
Your fiance.


All of this happened one year ago.
And I am so glad that I was able to
Pull myself together enough to say yes
To the most important question I had been asked
Up to that point.