tone-deaf.

 unable to distinguish differences 

in pitch in musical sounds when producing or hearing them.

Adele is cool

I know I am very late to join the Adele craze 

But here I am anyway

I like Adele

I think she is super talented

And refreshing

I have her CD

And yeah--I got it WAY after you got your electronic version

Sure

Have you seen what book I am reading right now? 

For the first time? 

I get behind sometimes

Anyway

I have been listening to Adele for a while now

And I finally feel (nay felt) that I could nail some of those high notes

So I told Josh

And he smiled

A little while later he had me pull up Adele on Youtube,

Throw some headphones in,

And rock out

That is just what I did--while he recorded it

I believe this was the first time I saw Josh cry

I don't know if it was from laughter or because I really touched him

But I pretend it was the latter

Once I finished the song (I was prepared for an encore)

Josh sat down next to me and somberly said,

"Shanae we have to watch this now and you aren't going to be happy about it."

I'm not delusional

I know I am terrible

So whatever, I listened to it

And I found out--

I am far past terrible

I have negative musical ability--not just "no musical ability" but negative.

And I started to think...

At church. In primary. I sing so loud (yikes)

To try and encourage my peeps to sing with me

And they never do 

But holy hell now I understand

I am the problem! Not the solution!

I. Am. SO. Sorry. 

I just hope I haven't done any serious, long-term damage to those precious little minds...

The good news is Josh still loves me

And the other little bit you should know is this--

Music teachers use to make me sing, "Doe, a deer..."

And at least two of them said,
"Wow. You might be the first tone-deaf person I've actually met."

Holler.