trans·mute.

to change from one nature, substance, form, or condition into another;

 transform.

This nice lady took some maternity pictures of me

When I was 33 (ish) weeks along

It's weird to post pictures of yourself

I get that

And I feel weird

But there was no way Josh was going to be in the pictures with me

And I want to remember this time

So my baby said we could do it, just the two of us

Plus I want to show you how talented my sister-in-law is

Oh and I think I could have my baby any second

So

Cheers

How weird was it?

ayúdame.

 provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need;

 render assistance to;

Spanish for 'help me'

I'm 30+ weeks pregnant

And I have a lot of stuff I need to accomplish 

Before my child comes

I need to make some maternal decisions

Mostly about baby gear

And I've never been a mom before

So I need help

Mom friends? I have some questions 

Like...

How come I feel like I need 3 different strollers? 

 

They all serve different purposes:

Snap and Go allows you to click your car seat right in 

Bob for running (OK fine, light jogging)

And the cute green one for everyday use

?

I have this swing:

Or one like it...so I don't need a bouncer? 

Oh and I kind of want this....

But will I use it if I have a swing??

Also...

How do I decide on one of these carriers? 

Do my car seat and stroller really have to match?

What car seat do you have?

Can I pass on a pack 'n play?

What about those entertainment/jumper things?

And play mats?

Surely I don't need all of these items

RIGHT?

Help. Me. Please.

Later we can discuss diaper bags, breast pumps, bottles, and nursing bras.

(you should know that we do have a crib, a cradle, and a changing table--so somehow I have made a few decisions) 

de·scry.

to discover; perceive; 

detect.

I've always known and understood that

People grow people

That's how we all got here

A fact

Something we learn early on in life

 Now I am growing a person

And everyday I find myself speechless

Because people can grow people

How did I just breeze over that before?

Right now, a person is developing inside of me!

He has organs and eyebrows and joints

Can you believe it? 

I can't most of the time

But the pictures I have help me believe it a little more

These are his arms and hands

His face

Spine

And for some reason this is my favorite picture...his five toes

I. love. him.

rap·ture.

ecstatic joy or delight;

 joyful ecstasy.

Today is my favorite holiday

And thus, the perfect day to tell all of my friends my favorite news: 

 

Sixteen weeks today

That's four months for people who are irritated by the week thing

I use to be

Until I was pregnant

Now each week I live through 

Feels more like a year

Maybe I'll start counting in days?

xoxo

jet·lag.

A temporary disruption of normal circadian rhythm 

 caused by high-speed travel across several time zones

  typically in a jet aircraft,

  resulting in fatigue and varied constitutional symptoms.

 Hi.

Remember me?

No?

Well.

I guess it is my fault

The good news is:

I live

And so does my blog

I caught her right on her last breath--

When she was throwing in the towel.

It was touch-and-go there for a while

  

And I am doing my best to revive her...

Hopefully, with time, I'll be able to nurse her back

And one day she'll be as good as new.

But right now we are both recovering;

My blog from a near-death experience

And me?

 From my first real case of jet-lag.

I'm tired. 

And I have to go grocery shopping.

But it is a new day my friends

I'm happy to be back. 

xxx

e·qui·nox.

the time when the sun crosses the plane of the earth's equator,

 making night and day of approximately equal length all over the earth

  and occurring about March 21 and September 22

The sky

 The temple

The phenomenon of the equinox and Maya architecture 

 The kid who took this picture

 His shadow

It all keeps me coming back to this picture

I think it might be the most fascinating

The most beautiful...

The best picture I've seen 

And it wasn't taken on an expensive camera 

It hasn't been edited

It has no filters

It is just bare and breathtaking 

recreo.

Spanish for break: school break, playtime, recreation.

 I enjoy having a week off from school each semester

It helps me recommit myself to my studies

So I like today a lot

But today can be made infinitely better by looking at this picture:

 

Adorable

 A picture says a thousand words

Or something like that

Cheers to spring break

Cheers Kate and Cortnie and their little one on the way

xoxo

can·dor.

the state or quality of being frank, open,

  and sincere in speech or expression.

Spencer is honest

That is cool

He leaves in two weeks from today

For two years

That is less cool (for me)

Missions are hard

I've never even done one

But my brother has

And then MY BEST FRIEND

And now my brother-in-law that I really like

I think missions are great

Truly

I believe in them and encourage them

But if I can be candid? 

This sort of sucks

Thanks.

per·plex.

to cause to be puzzled or bewildered over

 what is not understood or certain; confuse mentally

Today

7:46 AM--

S: Bye. I love you. 

J: I love you too. Oh and Shanae? I put my hand in the toilet during the night.

(silence)

Being married is funny

Or maybe Josh is what's funny

Either way...

What? 

tone-deaf.

 unable to distinguish differences 

in pitch in musical sounds when producing or hearing them.

Adele is cool

I know I am very late to join the Adele craze 

But here I am anyway

I like Adele

I think she is super talented

And refreshing

I have her CD

And yeah--I got it WAY after you got your electronic version

Sure

Have you seen what book I am reading right now? 

For the first time? 

I get behind sometimes

Anyway

I have been listening to Adele for a while now

And I finally feel (nay felt) that I could nail some of those high notes

So I told Josh

And he smiled

A little while later he had me pull up Adele on Youtube,

Throw some headphones in,

And rock out

That is just what I did--while he recorded it

I believe this was the first time I saw Josh cry

I don't know if it was from laughter or because I really touched him

But I pretend it was the latter

Once I finished the song (I was prepared for an encore)

Josh sat down next to me and somberly said,

"Shanae we have to watch this now and you aren't going to be happy about it."

I'm not delusional

I know I am terrible

So whatever, I listened to it

And I found out--

I am far past terrible

I have negative musical ability--not just "no musical ability" but negative.

And I started to think...

At church. In primary. I sing so loud (yikes)

To try and encourage my peeps to sing with me

And they never do 

But holy hell now I understand

I am the problem! Not the solution!

I. Am. SO. Sorry. 

I just hope I haven't done any serious, long-term damage to those precious little minds...

The good news is Josh still loves me

And the other little bit you should know is this--

Music teachers use to make me sing, "Doe, a deer..."

And at least two of them said,
"Wow. You might be the first tone-deaf person I've actually met."

Holler.

ad·a·mant.

utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion

 in spite of all appeals,urgings, etc.

Do you know what?

I love Utah

Maybe you don't think that is cool?

I'm here to tell you:

Utah is awesome

No matter where I end up living my life 

And raising my family

Utah will always be a special place for me

Because it is beautiful

I feel a desperation to see every inch of it lately

So last weekend 

We dusted off our snowshoes

And went up to Donut Falls

You should go too

(And take me with you) 

xoxo