Skilled. Talented.

Having a special ability.

Gifted.

Exactly 2 times I have attempted to make dinner

Yes. In over 5 weeks of marriage

Twice

That's correct

Exactly 2 times I have cut myself

while slaving away in the kitchen

The cuts are getting progressively worse

Longer/deeper/bloodier

I think next time I might go for a full finger

Or a hand

I think I could manage a hand

Luckily my father-in-law is a doctor

He likes blood.

Or at least it doesn't bother him one bit

He fixes my cuts for me

This last one went through my

fingernail so he glued it back together

with some really impressive doctor adhesive

He is a good man. A fabulous Doctor.

But as for me?

I am awful in the kitchen

Wait.

I don't mean that.

I make some pretty divine desserts.

And Muffins.

I can make muffins that would blow your mind...

I think I can say that I do okay

with beverages as well

But when knives are involved...I am

downright dangerous

To myself and perhaps to others

No.

 I haven't hurt anyone else

But I don't trust myself

And frankly,

 You shouldn't trust me either...